Hey. I know I haven’t written in forever and I haven’t exactly been keeping up with a daily blog. Too many things going on I guess. I’ve been really stressed the last few weeks. Relationships, school, work, health. I’d like to think I’ve been dealing fairly well but I can tell I haven’t totally been doing good cause my service started failing. To many mistakes, things forgotten, priorities lost, focus a little….unfocused. I’d like to think I’m working on getting back on track. Sometimes I feel like that comedian who does the joke about drinking…”and this time….I mean it!”

I feel old. I’m wearing bras (god help me), I’m concerned about paying bills on time instead of pushing back the due date(you’d think I would have been worrying about that one for a while), I’m not sharing quite as much as I use to and I’m keeping more of my emotions to myself. I knew I was starting to grow up when I realized Halloween and Christmas wasn’t that exciting anymore. I’m still into Valentine’s Day (so you guys aren’t off the hook for that one ) but…you get the point.

I went out to the MAST Bar night last night. It was stressful. I hung out with DD and Tat for a while and tried to not get to embarrassed by my lack of self-esteem where sex is concerned. The dinner conversation was….interesting to say the least. It was also stressful because, while I wasn’t there to serve DD…I haven’t hung out with him much and as someone Daddy respects obviously impressions and doing the right things are important. He makes me nervous. LOL I think he does that to a lot of people.

B drove into the city to see me and come to Bar Night and brought me a rose. It reminded me of the first time I met him. I suppose I can’t say I don’t have SOME amount of charm to be able to get people who detest NY to come in just to see me. I tried to be upbeat but nerves and aforementioned stressed got the better of me. We see-sawed most the night.

I was bummed. I really wanted to get my boots done. I would have loved to have B do them. I would have been happy to get Blaize to do them. I’ve really been enjoying being out more and being in the scene more. It’s nice to see a happy smile to see me from people like Lolita or Blaize or a number of the TES regulars. Surprised and pleased comes across from them and as someone who wants to be liked…that’s a wonderful feeling.

B and I hit the dinner after I dropped Tat and DD off. We got a chance to hang out by ourselves and talk a little before I headed home. It was really nice to crawl into bed with Daddy and chill with him infront of the TV. We had a really good talk ourselves and he reminded me why I love him so much and am happy to be here.

Today I’m mostly trying to get over some kind of flu bug. Like I said…karate has been a bit stressful to and I’m out of “get out the workout” free passes. Anyway…I’ll try and write more…I’ve been posting a lot over on Pure-submission but that’s really only just a side of myself…not the full version and some of it might be a little….embellished.

Ok so I’m playing WoW again. Anyone want to play? Anyone want to friggen remind me what Addon’s I need to go back and download?? HELP!!!! Oh and pick a server and I’ll play with ya.

I know…it’s been forever since I’ve updated. Sorry about that. It’s not that I haven’t had things to say or stuff to tell you about. Anything I can currently think of for why I haven’t written sounds like a whining excuse. Must be that kinda day.

Karate is going ok. I haven’t really done the class in a few weeks because of the holidays, going to see Flagg, and paper work for PTI. Sensei is gone next week so I’m hoping that is enough time to get me revved back up. He has however changed the pushups again so I’m fucked. Now he wants us to try and do them on our fingertips. Did I mention that the man seems insane at times. On top of that my whole “diet/fitness” plan went out the window somewhere a few weeks ago. I have to start all over. Interestingly enough my body fat percentage is down but my weight is up. I’m sure that is suppose to be good but I’m having a hard time buying it. I mean I can get into better fitting clothing now but still. I’m just not happy.

I’ve been working pretty hard on all the NF stuff. Trying hard to build up a rep on NF, build up my yahoo and site presence, and now I’m trying to build a rep on the Pro Domme boards and communities. Rapture, the place where Tatsumi works, put up an independant’s page for me. I want to do some new photo shoots but see paragraph 2.

I’ve gotten to spend quite a bit of time with B over the past few weeks. I was really spend part of the evening of the “Old Year’s Eve” Party at Paddles with him and then he went out of his way to arrange to see me again on New Year’s Eve for that party too. I ended up doing tarot for both parties to help finance my way into them so I didn’t get tons of time with him but it was enough to stave off some of the addiction. LOL

I also got to see him on Friday for a few hours. We compromised and I drove down to Tat’s with Daddy so that he wouldn’t have to drive so far to see me. I feel bad about all the outlay he has to spend just to see me, especially when he should be saving that money for more important things.

He seems to be getting along pretty well with Tat and Daddy. I know it’s still hard on him with my strange and particularly selfish set up. He’s been very sweet and seriously understanding and patient.

That’s all for now as far as catch up goes. I’ll try and write more often. There’s alot I’m trying to do more often so this just goes on the list with everything else.

I haven’t forgotten that I haven’t updated much lately. I will post about my weekend and my bringing in the NY tomorrow. Promise.