I plan on writing later today. I’ve been swamped with things I’m doing and haven’t had much time to get on the computer. I have recorded a few so I remember what I wanted to say though.

Ok I’d make this look really pretty but I don’t have time. So here’s some important links. Later tonight I’ll be writing out what happened yesterday and tonight.

My calendar: Kimi’s Calendar

Flickr Pictures (soulhuntre since he’s got a pro account) : http://www.flickr.com/photos/soulhuntre/

Ok I’d make this look really pretty but I don’t have time. So here’s some important links. Later tonight I’ll be writing out what happened yesterday and tonight.

My calendar: Kimi’s Calendar

Flickr Pictures (soulhuntre since he’s got a pro account) : http://www.flickr.com/photos/soulhuntre/

Hey! Well, if you are reading this…I’m glad you came back to the site. I’ve gotten a lot of really nice calls and emails in the last few days. I appreciate them all. I’ve been asked all kinds of questions and to sum it up..

1)no i don’t regret what I did because it was a good learning experience, the feelings I felt were real, I think it needed to happen in order to be in the place I currently am now and on the road to being a better person.

2) the fact that i was given whatever chance this one happens to fall on, it is not lost on me and i am glad that it’s being given to me because i believe everyone can change and grow and that’s why i tend to give chances to.

3)yes I am aware that eventually chances run out and it’s my intention to never have to repeat the experience of letting my fear rule me into making bad choices when it’s much more likely that if I do it right to begin with I have a better chance at what i’m working for.

4) yes i’m aware that if i go out in public, especially to give the meeting on service on Sept 16th i may be challenged and/or criticized and as per the advice i was given by a friend, i am not going to continue to walk on eggshells…but let that girl go and being to be the new and improved me (with downy soft freshness). should it happen…i will have an answer

5) no i am not going to name names because to me it would feel as if I blamed that person for my lies and i don’t. this is about what “I” did. if you wish to know they were involved i’m sure either someone who knows is already planning on telling you or they will write their own blog.

I’m sure there are more but I’ve been up all night trying to get a project done which sadly I was not able to finish. It will be done when I return from DragonCon. There’s interesting stuff to read on Tale Chasing and I released a teaser for Guardians on the site.

Any pictures, posts, or recordings will likely go on Tale Chasing as my purpose in going involves mostly my writing and podcasting. So check there for cool stuff about my trip! Now…I finish getting stuff ready so I can go sleep on the plane. *smiles*

Self-Confidence

As someone with high self-confidence, you feel quite comfortable interacting with other people. Indeed, you find the company of others very stimulating and enjoy meeting new people. Your relaxed demeanor in groups makes people around you comfortable too. Perhaps because you feel comfortable talking about yourself, others tend to enjoy being around you and perceive you as socially competent.

The confidence that helps you feel comfortable talking to people also spills into your own personal beliefs about yourself. Although you have several strengths, it’s likely that you also acknowledge and accept your weaknesses. But unlike some people, you take full responsibility for your actions—you rarely regret things you’ve done in the past and are not embarrassed easily.

Perhaps the defining feature that sets you apart from most people is the exceptionally high standards that you set for yourself. Your competence in social gatherings as well as at work should provide ample evidence for this. With these characteristics, it’s very likely that people come to you for advice and generally think of you as someone with leader-like qualities.

Self-Control

The self-control personality dimension captures the way in which a person regulates and directs him or herself. Being low in self-control can be both good and bad. Occasionally people may be compelled to follow their intuitions and give in to their temptations, and your degree of self-control makes this likely to happen more often than not. This can be good in circumstances where being relaxed and open are important. However, in situations where it is necessary to be focused and careful, you might find that you do or say things that may be inappropriate.

As someone who exerts little control over your actions, you may find that you commit social blunders that might offend other people and get yourself in trouble. For example, if you’re given responsibility to work on a project that requires close attention to detail, you may be likely to overlook important details because you have difficulty staying focused. Consequently, you might feel more comfortable delegating such tasks to other people who are more detail oriented. Being able to recognize such characteristics in yourself and having more detail-oriented people do such tasks could be an effective way to manage your own stress level.

Low self-control may diminish your effectiveness at work. Acting too relaxed can make it difficult for you to focus on projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Thus, your ability to accomplish may be inconsistent. Indeed, it’s possible that you might be criticized periodically for being unreliable or unable to “stay within the lines.” Nonetheless, you may still experience many short-lived pleasures and never be thought of as boring.

Openness

As someone high in openness, you have a strong appreciation for beauty, both in art and nature. Indeed, it’s likely that you are easily absorbed in music and art, as well as natural phenomena. Another aspect of your openness is your emotional insight; that is, you probably have good access to and awareness of your own emotions.

Another aspect of the openness dimension is the tendency to think about abstract concepts and ideas. This thinking style may take the form of artistic and metaphorical use of language, and/or music composition or performance. Thus, it is likely that, either in your work or spare time, you enjoy activities that get your “creative juices” flowing.

Your tendency to be open-minded can have advantages and disadvantages. For instance, when there are no clear rules about how to approach a particular problem, your openness makes it easier for you to identify new ways to solve problems that might not be very obvious to people that are not as open as you are. In contrast, you may be bored easily in situations that lack high amounts of intellectual stimulation. In such cases, you might have difficulty excelling on projects that do not provide much stimulation or require much creative thinking.

Easygoingness

Easygoingness refers to one’s ability to relax. Based on your score, you appear to “take things as they come” and enjoy having a good time. However, being high in easygoingness also has the potential to produce stress in a number of ways. For example, you may find it difficult to complete tasks thoroughly and efficiently. In this way, being high in easygoingness cannot only make your life difficult, but also the lives of the people around you. Another potential problem with being too high in easygoingness is that it can provide you with gratification in the short-term, but in the long-term provide undesirable consequences.

High easygoingness, even when not seriously destructive, may also diminish your effectiveness at work, for example. You may find it aversive and difficult to put in all the effort that may sometimes be needed to effectively accomplish certain tasks. For this reason, your colleagues might view you as forgetful and unfocused.

By now the vast majority of people who know me know that my life has taken a drastic change and that my relationships have been seriously altered. I am responsible for these changes…some good…some bad.

I have always had this blog as a way for me to post about things I’ve learned about life and making myself a better person. Because I found myself in a position where there were people looking up to me, I also tried to be someone they had a reason to as well as a mentor and a good example. I have made a lot of progress over this last two years and come to several realizations. I’ve learned recently that in reaction to fear (while I always knew it as an issue just not that it was related to my fears) I lie. Everyone has something they do as a reaction to fear. Some people may argue and get defensive. Some people make jokes and laugh it off. Some people deal with it and then handle it rationally. There are both positive and negative ways of handling that fear. And until 2 days ago, I handled my fear by lying.

I’m having a difficult time knowing that everyone knows the extent of my dishonor and my “fear” is that I will have to live the rest of my life with everyone thinking I’m a horrible person who deserves nothing from anyone. I try to remind myself that I’m human and that so is everyone else and that no matter what they say to the world, deep down everyone knows that they themselves have made bad decisions. If nothing else I’m glad I can say that while I am one of those people, I took action to fix it. Kaizen

I don’t pretend that it is fixed, and while I’m scared to start all over while my fears snear at me from the side of the road (I’m big into analogy these days) I did the right thing and with enough work anything can be fixed.

What I am being offered is beyond anything I believe I deserve or could even imagine I would be given and I can’t thank those people enough. I want to thank everyone who’s been caring and supportive despite my actions. It means a lot to me. There are people who’s opinions matter to me, and it makes me sad that I’ve lost their respect. I know several of them will not let me gain it back. And that hurts.

I want so many things (always have), and among them I would like to be someone who’s worth being looked up to. Someone who’s honorable and someone who did the right thing no matter the cost and was willing to work though it all to get better.

I am sorry…but more then being sorry…I will fix it despite my fears.

Hi everyone! Things have been going really well. I found out today that I am a finalist for the Parsec Awards in the Best Writing Related Podcast category! Yay!

I had a busy weekend. Went to help Flagg as per usual and then went to hang out with Brandon and some Floating World attendees. It was a lot fun and I had a good time getting out and hanging with him.

I’m working on the next part of Guardians and still seeking a few voice actors for some characters coming up. Things are going well with Holly’s Ebook and I’m on track to deliver to her before DragonCon in TWO WEEKS!!

Things are going a little slow with the “Thinking Sideways” workshop from Holly Lisle. Partly because I’m dividing my time between projects and the class. Currently I’m trying to get in touch with my Muse, so if you see her please let her know I’m patiently waiting for her to drop back by. It’s very much worth the time and money. A lot of it is helpful for life, not just writing. So I’m really digging it. I’m also going to use it to refine Guardians.

I’m including my entry for Mur’s Stories from the Third Wave in prep for her release of Playing For Keeps on the 25th. This was the first full-cast Stories of the Third Wave. Love Lines producer, editor, and concept created by Kimi Alexandre. All the participants created their own characters and their own lines for Love Lines.

* Dora Holly – Kimi Alexandre
* Jason Block – Jason Block
* Amora – Ivy Reisner
* Bruno – Chad Henderson
* Shelly – Paulette Jaxton
* Julie – Pamela Templin
* Kim – Comic Book Goddess

Love Lines – A story from the Third Wave